You Hurt My Feelings follows novelist Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) who is in the process of writing a new novel after her previous effort failed to make a big splash. Beth’s psychiatrist husband, Don (Tobias Menzies) supports his wife’s latest screed, or so Beth thinks until she overhears Don giving his honest reaction to their brother-in-law Mark (Arian Moayed). The revelation puts their long-standing marriage to the test.
You Hurt My Feelings uses comedy to peer into the human desire for validation of others in response to our actions in both our professional and personal lives. Whether it’s making personal decisions or creating something that will eventually be consumed by others, those on the creative end claim to those around them that they’d like honest input so that they are able to shape what they build as best they can. The tricky part for their loved ones is just how honest they should really be. While we all wish to provide useful feedback to those we care for, the instinct to protect them from pain or discomfort often overrides our wish for their success. As the film displays, attempts to spare the feelings of our loved ones can have negative consequences that range from innocent to devastating.
The spectrum of potential emotional fallout is put on display through both Beth’s reaction to Don’s little white lie and the couple’s struggle to connect to their stereotypically struggling Millennial son Elliott (Owen Teague). In Beth’s spat with Don, we see the innocence in lying to protect a loved one’s feelings; a typical marital spat played for laughs in the film as the couple navigates Don’s inability to be truthful about his feelings for Beth’s latest novel. Elliott’s confrontation with his parents over their empty platitudes and encouragement however, displays the dark side of how encouraging a loved one no matter what can venture into being destructive. Elliott’s point about being misled regarding his abilities and potential by parents that just wanted to be encouraging at all times in an attempt to instill confidence in him, and the effect this had on his development, plays into the real life experiences of the generation his fictional character represents.
While the premise of You Hurt My Feelings is interesting, the film itself can be a slog at times with humor that is hit or miss. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is her usual charming self, but she can only elevate the material so much. The film’s funniest bit is the banter between couple Carolyn (Amber Tamblyn) and Jonathan (David Cross), clients of Mark’s whose dysfunctional relationship tests Dan’s resolve and confidence in his own skills as a shrink. Outside of their scenes, the humor is very narrow and appeals to a specific audience and may not connect outside of this narrow scope. The conversation surrounding Elliott’s experiences growing up adds some thematic weight and interest, but feels slightly random juxtaposed to the rest of the lighthearted film and plot line of treating criticism of one’s spouse with kid gloves. The result is a film that feels more like an episode in a television show than something fit for the big screen.
Image: A24
